Sunday, July 25

The Bulldog...

This is Hank. He is the second love of of my life, other than Tom.
He is in the  middle of a sneeze in this picture and even though he looks goofy I still love this photo.
Hank is a one year old English Bulldog. And even if some think this is stupid I believe that he might be the glue that holds me together when I don't get to talk to Tom. 

 He has such a wonderful personality and gets along with anyone/thing.
My roommate think that he is so VERY spoiled and it is true I would rather spend what money I do have on toys and things for my puppy than things for me. I hope this means that when I become a mommy one day I will spoil my kids in the proper ways and spend money on them rather than me .
Now can you see why I love him so much?
I think this color and photo is so artist. Okay so it probably isn't that artist but it is for me.

This is last one I will add of the Bulldog right now. This is so fascinating to me. It looks like he is smoking but of course he isn't. Crazy don't you think!

Love Letters by Great Men......

Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours......

This letter
was written by Beethoven to his Immortal love.

I first heard this letter while watching Sex and the City the movie. It got my mind thinking of why love letter aren't still written. Then I realized it is of course because of our dependence on technology. Texting and emails have gotten in the way of written love letters.

Love Letters...

I love getting mail it makes me so excited. I don't even know how to explain the fact that I love to receive mail. I especially love mail from Tom. If you don't already know Tom is in the wood of Montana right now and we rarely get to talk. So letters or as some refer to it snail mail is how we communicate.

So maybe that is why I love letters. Letters are how I get to talk to my love. And I get beyond excited when I receive a letter from Montana. It like Christmas morning when you get to open presents yet this time the present is a little bit of Tom's heart on a piece of paper. A little bit of his heart that I  miss because we are so far away.

 I love reading about how much fun he is having in Montana and it really makes me excited to see that you can really love what you are doing (because I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life but knowing that there is something out there that you can love makes me excited to find my passion).

But anyway back to LOVE LETTERS, I want love letters, I need love letters, they keep me going. And the best part is I receive love letters.

Tom's letters always show me how he doing, but they also show me his ever loving heart. These letters I receive every other week are my love letters. His snail mail notes keep me going when I don't think I can do this long distance relationship anymore.

All this brings me to my point of this blog post. Everyone needs some love letters in their life. Okay so maybe guys don't truly treasure love letter like woman but who knows maybe they would enjoy them too. So, I think even if you live in the same house, town, or it actually it really doesn't matter where you are you should write your love, love letters. Don't make these just a quick little note. Write down things you love about that person and things that you miss when they aren't around. Put your heart and soul into that letter or  those letterS.

I believe that Love letter might have been an old fashion tradition but I think is it a tradition that needs to be returned to the 21st century.

Tuesday, July 6

Hello, good bye.....

I cant wait for the time when I don't have say Hi and Goodbye on the phone all the time. This whole long distance thing can take a toll on someone. I know, we both knew when we started this relationship it was going to be a long distance thing but you do what you have to do when you love someone. It all started my freshman year, 5 days before my 20th birthday. I was set up on a blind date (okay so it was really more like a blind formal/ vacation date). Yes, I thought Tom was cute but I wasn't sure if I was ready to date anyone yet, so we took things slow and just started out as friends which has progressed to where we are now. We finally started dating at the end of summer '08 much to Tom's relief I am sure. Our long distance travels then was only 3 hours which at the time I thought was forever and I didn't know how we would make it work, but somehow we did. The drive from Alabama to Auburn got a lot easier with time and most of the time I wish we were still only 3 hours apart. I guess from there Tom keep getting farther and farther away from me. In the summer '09 he was in a completely different world than I was, and by world I mean China.

Then there came graduation time for Tom, Aug '09. I luckily got to see him walk across that stage in Auburn and receive his diploma in building science. After this there came a struggle/ stress in our relationship. With the economy the way it is you can not find a general contractor job anywhere, therefore Tom was left sitting around Auburn with nothing to do. You better believe that was hard to deal with because I was stuck in ttown taking classes and working all the time.

After numerous fights and Tom being bored just sitting around he came back to something he has always wanted to do and that was join the military. Man, after he told me this I was a ball of emotions. Seriously the military? I mean yes it has always been part of my family and more than likely always will be but the military? I knew from that moment on I either had to be all the way in this relationship or all the way out.

I know I said this earlier but the economy is hard so it is surprising really hard to join the military right now and we are still waiting on word to see if Tom has made it to be an officer.

But back to our long distance. My dad gave Tom a job from November to February, which meant Tom was one hour closer to me! Hank and him lived at my house for about 4 months. Crazy, right? Tom choose to live with my family while I wasn't there for months. Man he really either needed the job or loves me that much. I like to think the latter of the two.

Once February '10 rolled around Tom decided he needed to quite wasting time and money down in the south and move back home to Louisville, Kentucky, and he is so lucky I am an amazing girlfriend because for my spring break '10, I helped pack up his house in Auburn and move him home.

Yes this now made my drive 6 hours when I wanted to see him. Six hours is a long time to be in the car by yourself. Its a long way to drive just to see you boyfriend for a weekend ( actually one day since Friday and Sunday are days of driving).

Having him in Louisville wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I actually got to see him 4 times while he was there and it was nice being able to get to know his family better.

But of course Tom found another calling on life. He decided since the military was taking so long and he wouldn't be leaving any sooner than December'10 that he would join the Montana Conservation Corp and work on nature trails. So yes once again in May '10 I helped pack Tom up again for the second time in 2 month. This time it is not possible for me to drive and see him because he is over 30 hours away.

Some say distance makes the hard grow stronger but at times I think it makes my heart weak. When I hear his ring tone go off my heart skips a beat, or when I see a red Jetta pass by I loose my breath thinking it could be him.

You see this is no longer a long distance relationship, this is a long distance pen-palship. Tom is out in the woods 8 to 10 days at a time and out of the woods with cell phone service for 5 days at a time. So basically that adds up to 10 days out of the month I might get to hear his voice and have a conversation with him. But even that time isn't guaranteed because him, his brothers, cousin, and friends like to travel to different places when they are off and therefore he doesn't always have service.

Of course, I get mad when I don't get to talk to him but what am I suppose to do? I am still in school and it wouldn't be fair to make him sit around and wait for me. I don't even know what I want to do in the future or even if there is more schooling in my future.

So as for now I can not wait till I no longer have to say hi and goodbye on a phone an can actually say it in person for the rest of my life!