Friday, September 23

Crunch time

I am not going to lie. I am suppose to be studying my life away. Remember back in January when I was "freaken" out about that test I had to take, you know the one that says if I am smart enough to get into the school of my dreams. Well, yup you guess right, I am taking it again, on MONDAY. Ahhhhh

No, I am not ready. And yes, I know that getting into this school is going to take some extra loving from GOD, but all I have is time now. I know I shouldn't be stressed but I always seem to be. Life in these past months has taken more twist and turns than I allotted it. But I guess that is what living is all about. Knowing that something good will eventually come, hopefully.

Well, I am waiting on that something good. If I don't get into this program, I will have to think of a new dreams, a new aspiration, which I wont lie kind of excites me. I have always wanted to take pictures, grant it don't even own a camera. I know, I know who doesn't own a camera. Well you are looking at her. I have also always wanted to work with people. I don't know how but I know that  I love the interaction you have with others and I would be so bored and lonely sitting in a cubicle all day long.

I want to be successful but I don't want to base my success on wealth. I want to base it on happiness. Am a thrilled to be doing this, and I am in love with it? I want to love my job. I want to know that I am making a difference.  Most importantly I really want to be living at the beach.

Well I am off for a walk on the beach.

- Alanna

Saturday, September 3

I have no idea where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere.

So lately I haven't been able to sleep. I'll fall asleep at 3am and find myself wide awake by 8am. I have a friend that says I just don't have the "sleeping talent" but I think it is because life is stressing me the f*&% out. I mean you can see it all over my face I am sure.

If you haven't noticed I have been using this space lately more as an outlet than a story teller. Maybe that is a good thing and maybe it is a bad thing, who really knows. All I know is lately my mind has been wondering.

It has been asking me questions after questions. Like, "Alanna, are you really doing this?" I'll of course ask back doing what, and then it just almost immediately spits back numerous Questions, ones I don't really want to hear.

So, mind here is my answer for you, "I have no idea where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere." Does that work for you?

Life you have been throwing twists at me lately and I am now prepared, how I don't really know but I am. I am ready for this new phase "mind", even if you are not .So here is me, answering all these questions once and for all, so mind become prepared to be amazed: 

Yes, I am single, no I have no one perspective new guy. Yes I am living in a new city, no, I don't have many new friends but the ones I do have will be there with me till the end. Yes, I am scared, but then again what is living with out taking some crazy chances when you can.  And yes mind, I am getting a tattoo, so get over it, it is gonna happen and it is happening some. Yes, I wasn't a rebel when I was younger. Okay, fine, yes I did have that one phase but this one is better. This one I am older for. This one I know I can handle without getting hurt. And the questions continue my ultimate response for now is "I have no idea where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere."